Finding God’s Way
When I went
off to college, for the first time, I was filled with excitement and
apprehension. This was a time for adult decisions, like what am I supposed to
do with the rest of my life. That’s true of most college freshmen, but I was
also a Christ-follower. I wanted to live according to His direction; I just
wasn’t sure what that was. However, for a few years, I had the sneaking suspicion
that God was going to send me into full-time Christian service. At the time, I
had only one female model for that, and it was not comforting.
The Walker
sisters, had given their lives to medical missions in Nigeria. Every four years
they would return to their home church, and mine, to tell us about their
experiences on the field. Using the day’s best technology, slides, they showed
pictures of the country, its people, and their own living quarters. As nurses,
they were constantly traveling from one village to another, so they lived in
tents. One visual, that permanently implanted itself into my psyche, was a
picture of the largest snake I had ever seen. It visited their tent one night. They
were untouched, but I was afraid of even a garter snake. You can imagine what
this did to my imagination.
Since the
Walker sisters were the only models I had of women, in ministry, I began to
fear it. God could not possibly be calling me to this, could He? As I was first
entering my life as a university student, the gnawing idea that this would have
to be decided relatively soon, frightened me even further.
I looked
forward to my second weekend at Middle Tennessee State University. I was going on
a weekend retreat planned by the Baptist Student Ministry. This was a great way
to meet others with similar values.
The weekend
was all that I expected and more. I met a lot of great people, both students
and adult leaders who were committed to mentoring us if we needed it. The
weekend was full of fun with plenty of opportunities to engage with other students.
There was also Bible study that was directed towards our lives as we began this
new transition toward independence.
One
afternoon, after an intense study, it was suggested that we go find a place to
be alone with the Lord. I walked out into the woods surrounding the retreat
site. I found a downed tree to use as my prayer altar. In the midst of prayer,
the Lord asked if I was ready to follow His call on my life. He showed me that
I had nothing to fear when walking in His path. No snake was too big for Him. I
finally realized the absurdity of thinking that God couldn’t handle one of His
own creatures. I said, with a loud resounding voice, “Yes, God! I’ll follow you
wherever you lead. I’ll go to Africa.” It was a joyful relief just saying that
with confidence. But then the Lord took me off guard. I could almost sense a
smile on His face as He said, “I don’t want you in Africa.”
When I got
up from my prayer stoop, I went to find one of our counselors. I told him about
my encounter with God. I told him that I was totally confused. Why would God
call me to something and then say, “No, thank you”? The counselor reminded me of
the story of Abraham and Isaac. God told Abraham to offer his only son, as a
sacrifice, to his Heavenly Father. When God saw that Abraham was ready to do
whatever he was called to do, in obedience to his Lord, God stopped him. He
didn’t want the death of Isaac, but Abraham had to be willing to follow His
lead, regardless of the sacrifice required. The counselor said, “Perhaps,
that’s what God needed from you”.
Yes, the
weekend provided all that I expected and much more. There’s no reason to fear when
following God’s plan for one’s life.
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