Who's Angry in Your Life?

Dealing with Anger

I was in a hurry that Wednesday night at church. I was to direct a planning meeting of youth workers, but the pastor had asked that we take a minimal amount of time that evening. We had a church-wide discussion that was to take place afterward. Per his instructions, I led the group in prayer then dived right into the evening's agenda. We were able to finish in the allotted time to join the church discussion.

When adjourned, I went down the hall towards the exit to go home. The hallway was crowded with friends talking about a myriad of things. I was enjoying the talk around me when Paula, one of our youth workers, started shouting at me. She was red in the face, obviously very angry. She was talking so fast that I wasn’t understanding all that she said, but she was certainly gaining the attention of the crowd.

I said, “Paula I’m not sure what’s wrong, but let’s go sit somewhere privately, so that I can focus on what you’re saying.” I discovered that Paula was upset about the meeting. I jumped into prayer, giving no time for requests or even a little small talk. At first, I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. The problem was, Paula felt overlooked. It wasn’t intentional. I was merely trying to honor the pastor’s request for time, but she saw it as a personal slight. I apologized, but she wasn’t satisfied. She said many hurtful things. Venom was spewing from her mouth. I asked the Lord for help while fighting back tears. He reminded me, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” So, I was able to respond to her screams with a soft controlled tone.

When I went home, the tears burst forth. I told my husband, Jack, what happened. We talked and prayed for Paula. The next morning, she called. She was still angry. Some church members had called her. She accused me, or perhaps Jack, of calling the deacons to chastise her. I said, “Paula, we haven’t talked with anyone. Remember, until we sought a separate room, we were in the midst of a crowd of church members when you approached me. The calls were in response to what they heard from you, not a phone call from me. Paula, Jack and I love you. We’re sorry about all of this, and the only one we’ve gone to is the Lord. I came straight home, and we prayed for you.” She hung up without saying anything else.

At the end of the service, on the following Sunday morning, Paula came forth and asked for a moment to speak to the congregation. She said, “This week many of you witnessed my anger, directed at our pastor’s wife. I want you to know what kind of leaders we have in our church.” At this point I was holding my breath. I didn’t know what was coming. She continued, “My hot temper was unleashed on Wanda. She never raised her voice. She listened to me. The next morning I called her and ranted some more, making unfounded accusations. She responded with patience and kindness. Instead of yelling back at me, she and Jack prayed for me. I’m here to publicly apologize, but I’m also here to say that we are a fortunate church to have such a loving pastor and wife.”

Once again, I went home in tears. I cried out in praise. I had not refrained from anger on my own. God, and His word, guided me. In turn, He spoke to Paula, giving her the courage to humbly come before the church. The Lord looked into each of our hearts, and “He supplied all our need according to His glorious riches, in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19