Why Did I Think I Could Do This?

Birth

The baby’s birth is first announced by your slightly green complexion as you throw up your breakfast. With the nausea comes irritation with “the man”. Your face is in the toilet, and “the man” is grinning from ear to ear and strutting across the room as if he has done something remarkable. Not only that, he offers to help, so he makes the coffee. The very aroma turns your stomach, and the retching continues.

By the fourth or fifth month, the morning sickness has finally passed, but your waist has expanded. Nothing fits, and it’s time to go to the maternity department. You are now relegated to elastic pants. You thought those belonged to the geriatric set, didn’t you? Ha! The jokes on you. Nature seems to have turned on you.

By the seventh month, you are awkward from the displaced weight. Your back hurts, your feet are swollen, and the baby is using your bladder as a trampoline. You must remain close to a bathroom. Sleep has become impossible.

The blessed day finally comes for your baby to enter the world. You try to be excited, but it’s hard when you are writhing in pain. Words escape your mouth that are new to your vocabulary. Your husband has the nerve to look shocked.

Then the baby arrives. You’re in love. The nausea and pain are all forgotten. Your husband is once again your prince. When you see the father’s love flowing from his eyes, you love him even more.

Though the nine months are filled with nausea, exhaustion, mood swings, and pain, they are all quickly forgotten in light of God’s miracle of birth. You are awe-struck by the beauty of this child and the love that is beyond anything you have previously experienced. Already, you know that you would give your life for this precious baby. But, then the “What ifs” invade your thinking.

Fear strikes! What if I sleep through my baby's cries at night? What if I drop her? What if she hates me? What do I know about parenting? They’re going to send me home, with this baby, in a few days. I’m a neophyte. I know nothing. A child’s life is going to be placed in my hands. Help!

Help is available. Just as you are ready to do anything for your child, you should now have a better understanding of God’s sacrifice for you, His child. It is love beyond measure, undeserved but freely given. In that moment, you realize that God is the parent-model that you need to emulate.  He is going to walk with you through this whole parenting-thing. You are not alone. God is faithful. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Leave the hospital with confidence. You’re a parent; praise God!

Can You Identify the Real Mrs. Carver?

The Wrong Mrs. Carver

I walked into my fifth-grade classroom and was surprised to find a student already there. He was sitting on the window sill talking to one on the outside. Before he realized I was there, he said, “Come here, Mrs. Carver.” I didn’t understand why he was talking to me as if I was outside, but I said, “What did you say?” He had a startled look as if he was caught doing something that he shouldn’t. When I questioned him again, he said, “I wasn’t talking to you.” I told him that I had distinctly heard him say my name. Looking a little embarrassed, he told me that he was talking with the neighbor’s emu. He went on to explain that the kids had named it after me. How does one respond to that?

The emu was something of an annoyance to all but the students. The principal had spoken to the farmer whose land abutted the school property. He explained to the gentleman that both the school and the farmer could be sued if the animal hurt a child. Since there were some students on the playground at most anytime during the day, this was a cause of concern. He insisted that the man keep the emu locked up. This particular emu was something of an escape artist. Even though she was in a confined space, she continued to break free, and she had endeared herself to the children. So, they named her.

About a week later I entered the school building and noticed that faculty members were looking at me in shock, through their tears. I was told that the children said that I was dead. The cause of misinformation was soon discovered. When the principal arrived at the school that morning, he found the emu on campus. This was one time too many. The farmer had been warned. The principal was determined to get the animal off of the property before the students arrived. He chased after it until the animal collapsed. It was dead. Apparently, emus have bodies that are too large for their hearts to take much stress. When the principal ran after it, the animal died. The first student arrived before the bird’s remains could be removed. Word quickly spread…Mrs. Carver was dead!

Misinformation can lead to rumors, and sometimes, unnecessary alarm. It does not lead to effective education. Communication requires that the listener understands what the speaker is trying to say, not just the definition of her words. So, if you want to make sure that your listeners understand what you really intend to convey, ask a few questions. It may prevent you from proclaiming the death of the wrong Mrs. Carver.

 

Forget the Excuses! What is Your Dream?

Achievement

Here I am without a thought as to what I should write, but nevertheless, I’m clicking the computer keys. Someone said to me a few days ago, “I have two books within me, but I just can’t seem to sit down and get them on paper.” They asked how I had managed to write a book. I said I had scheduled one hour per day in which I determined to write without distraction. The would-be-writer said, “That’s what I was afraid of. It’s a matter of discipline, and that’s what I lack.” I suppose it’s that discipline that has me clicking away when I have nothing in particular to say. I feel compelled to keep to my schedule.

The reasons, or sometimes excuses, that I most often hear people use for lack of achievement are:

1.      I don’t have time.

2.      It requires too much discipline.

I’m not sure who said this, but I once read, “When I lost all of my excuses, I found my results.” If I want to achieve, I must recognize my excuses for what they are and move toward the goal in spite of them.

A week or two after I started to write my first book, I went to my husband, Jack, and said, “I must be crazy. I only know two things about writing a book. It will cost a lot of money and take a huge amount of time. I’m sixty-three years old, and if I’m lucky it will take me two years before I can get a book written and published. By that time, I’ll be SIXTY-FIVE years old!”

My sweet husband looked me right in the eyes and said, “That’s true. How old will you be in two years if you don’t write the book?” He continued, “In two years you will be sixty-five as a published author, or you will just be sixty-five. The question is, on that birthday, will you regret it if you don’t write the book?” So…I returned to my computer and continued writing.

When I went to Jack in exasperation, Satan had been feeding my doubts and fears. Jack was there to encourage me. He provided perspective when I lost mine. If not for his support, I would not have gotten past the first two weeks of writing.  If you hope to achieve anything of real significance, you will need support. 

I am now sixty-five, and I have two published works to my name. God provided the topic and the resources. Jack provided the encouragement, and I didn’t allow myself the excuse of lack of time or discipline.

Don’t let your dream pass you by, and don’t let those who have given up on their dream talk you out of yours. Pray about it. See what God would have you to do. Then, in obedience, work out a plan that will help you move forward. Don’t accept excuses. Seek support; you’ll need it. But remember, the joy of achieving a worthy goal can be yours... just keep “clicking those keys".

You Want Me to Go WHERE, God?

Finding God’s Way

When I went off to college, for the first time, I was filled with excitement and apprehension. This was a time for adult decisions, like what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life. That’s true of most college freshmen, but I was also a Christ-follower. I wanted to live according to His direction; I just wasn’t sure what that was. However, for a few years, I had the sneaking suspicion that God was going to send me into full-time Christian service. At the time, I had only one female model for that, and it was not comforting.

The Walker sisters, had given their lives to medical missions in Nigeria. Every four years they would return to their home church, and mine, to tell us about their experiences on the field. Using the day’s best technology, slides, they showed pictures of the country, its people, and their own living quarters. As nurses, they were constantly traveling from one village to another, so they lived in tents. One visual, that permanently implanted itself into my psyche, was a picture of the largest snake I had ever seen. It visited their tent one night. They were untouched, but I was afraid of even a garter snake. You can imagine what this did to my imagination.

Since the Walker sisters were the only models I had of women, in ministry, I began to fear it. God could not possibly be calling me to this, could He? As I was first entering my life as a university student, the gnawing idea that this would have to be decided relatively soon, frightened me even further.

I looked forward to my second weekend at Middle Tennessee State University. I was going on a weekend retreat planned by the Baptist Student Ministry. This was a great way to meet others with similar values.

The weekend was all that I expected and more. I met a lot of great people, both students and adult leaders who were committed to mentoring us if we needed it. The weekend was full of fun with plenty of opportunities to engage with other students. There was also Bible study that was directed towards our lives as we began this new transition toward independence.

One afternoon, after an intense study, it was suggested that we go find a place to be alone with the Lord. I walked out into the woods surrounding the retreat site. I found a downed tree to use as my prayer altar. In the midst of prayer, the Lord asked if I was ready to follow His call on my life. He showed me that I had nothing to fear when walking in His path. No snake was too big for Him. I finally realized the absurdity of thinking that God couldn’t handle one of His own creatures. I said, with a loud resounding voice, “Yes, God! I’ll follow you wherever you lead. I’ll go to Africa.” It was a joyful relief just saying that with confidence. But then the Lord took me off guard. I could almost sense a smile on His face as He said, “I don’t want you in Africa.”

When I got up from my prayer stoop, I went to find one of our counselors. I told him about my encounter with God. I told him that I was totally confused. Why would God call me to something and then say, “No, thank you”? The counselor reminded me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. God told Abraham to offer his only son, as a sacrifice, to his Heavenly Father. When God saw that Abraham was ready to do whatever he was called to do, in obedience to his Lord, God stopped him. He didn’t want the death of Isaac, but Abraham had to be willing to follow His lead, regardless of the sacrifice required. The counselor said, “Perhaps, that’s what God needed from you”.

Yes, the weekend provided all that I expected and much more. There’s no reason to fear when following God’s plan for one’s life.

Friendship Tales

Friendship: Mom, Mary, and Bert

My mom, Eva, had two close girlfriends during high school. According to my grandmother, she always quietly opened the door, to my mother’s room, before making breakfast each morning. Until then, she didn’t know how many to prepare for. She often found three girls stretched out horizontally, across the double bed. Bert and Mary were often guests, and Grandma had to stretch the meal accordingly. With war rations, that was often a challenge.

Eva’s teen and young adult years were spent during World War II. As a result, there were few available young men to date after high school. Bert, Mary, and Eva were a fun bunch, though, and they often got into amusing situations, with my mother the usual instigator.

Eva was a dark-haired beauty. She had green eyes and an olive complexion. At almost 5’9”, she turned heads when she walked into a room. But, the screen idol image, of the day, was the voluptuous blonde.                                                                                                                                                                                       

Occasionally, Mary and Eva were lucky enough to meet sailors on shore-leave. One evening they were to go on a double date with some good-looking men in uniform. The girls wanted to look their very best. They carefully chose their wardrobe, for the evening, and applied their make-up with care. Mary was not satisfied with the over-all affect when she looked in the mirror. She was not exactly full-figured, so they decided to improvise. Eva gave Mary a bunch of tissues and told her to stuff them into her bra. Eva gave her direction until “the girls” looked even. Mary and Eva were finally ready, agreeing that they almost looked like film stars.
Eva’s date was driving a car that he’d borrowed from a friend. This was a big deal! They went to a movie and afterwards had fun at the local soda shop. But, while riding home, Mom heard some muffled sounds from the backseat. Then she heard Mary loudly say, “If you want them so badly, here take them!” Mom turned around just in time to see Mary removing the tissues, throwing them in the face of a very disappointed sailor.

For a young woman, during WWII, it was often tough to find a date. Most eligible men were at war. But girls could dream. Mom, and her best friend, Bert, were no different. They would go to the movies, imagining that they were as glamorous as Lana Turner or Betty Grable, both beautiful blondes who always attracted soldiers, on screen. On occasion, Bert and Eva, would meet some sailors, on leave, and they imagined themselves in the role of their favorite film star. One day they met some young men who asked them out, and the girls didn’t want to miss their opportunity to really get their attention. Eva had an idea. The girls went to the drug store down the street and bought two boxes of bleach to change themselves from attractive brunettes to stunning blondes that no man could resist. Neither had any experience with hair dyes. Mom was a little uneasy, so she told Bert that she could be the first bombshell. What happened could have caused a permanent rift in their friendship. The box of bleach gave instructions on how long it should be left on the hair. However, Eva reasoned that since they both had such dark hair, it might be a good idea to leave it in a little longer. After they determined that it was long enough, Eva rinsed out Bert’s hair. They were both horrified. Instead of blonde, Bert’s hair was now orange. Eva tried to tell her that it wasn’t really bad. In fact, it was kind of cute. But, her words failed to ring true when Eva refused to let Bert work on her head.

Bert was in no mood for a double-date. She was mad at Eva, and she was fearful of her date’s reaction. Her date, trying to be gracious, just said, “Wow! Look at that hair!”  Eva regaled the young men with the story, exaggerating every step of the way. Their laughter ensured that the evening was going to be a fun one that they’d all retell frequently.

The friendship was saved, but it was agreed that if Eva ever decided that they should change hair color again, Eva was going first!