Incoming!

A beautiful wedding does not just appear out of thin air. It is a well-orchestrated event that is often considered long before the bride has even met her intended. Each detail is thought to be important. The bride has only one chance to make it perfect, and that is her goal, perfection!

Everyone anticipates the beauty of a wedding, but an overflow of mixed emotions may also be expected. It is a day of both laughter and tears. Some of the tears are a direct result of the unrealistic expectations that come with the planning of this day. Of course, with more details involved, there are more elements with the potential to go awry.

My husband, Jack, performed a wedding in which the bridal couple were to light a unity candle. This is a common tradition in many weddings. There is typically a candelabra with three candles. One represents the groom’s family, one represents the bride’s. The candle, in the middle, remains unlit until the couple comes to light it together. Each one takes the candle, representing their family. At the same time, they bring their candles to meet at the center one, which they light together, representing the unity of their families.

This is a meaningful moment in the ceremony, and the couple wanted everything to be perfect. They chose to use dripless candles, providing a sleeve around them, to avoid getting burned by candle wax. When the moment came they each started to retrieve their candle. The groom, inadvertently, pushed down on his. When he did, the spring mechanism was activated. It shot the candle sleeve through the congregation like an attacking missile. I half expected to hear someone yell out, “Incoming!” There was an immediate intake of breath followed by laughter. The sacred moment was ruined, but it insured that this wedding would be memorable for all who attended.

We might do well to remember, there is no perfection this side of heaven. And, often, we find greater joy in the flaws that show up as uninvited guests to a wedding.