The Giving Jar

Christmas was approaching, and I was busy in the kitchen when my son called asking about a gift idea for his dad. After I gave him a couple of suggestions, I said, “So, I assume you two are out shopping.” He had been married for just a few months, so this was to be their first Christmas together. He responded by saying, “No we’re actually delivering gifts.” I couldn’t imagine who he’d need to deliver to, so in curiosity, I asked for more information. He responded by telling me that they were down in Nashville’s projects taking gifts for the parents to be able to give their children. My daughter-in-law was a child advocate who worked in the area with some frequency. She was invested in these children.

I guess I couldn’t turn my Mom button off, so I proceeded with, “Honey, you are newly married, and I love your generous spirit, but you aren’t going to get yourself into credit card debt, are you?” With an exasperated sigh he replied, “No, Mom, remember the jars?” I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I said so. He said, “Remember when I was little and you gave me the four baby food jars? You were about to give me my first allowance, but the jars were to teach me how to use money. When I received my allowance each week, I was to put 10% in the tithing jar, 5% into a savings jar, and 5% into a giving jar, and the fourth jar held the remaining 80% for me to use however I chose. You said that the giving jar was to be used when I saw that someone had a need. That way I’d be ready and able to give. Though we don’t use actual jars, we still abide by the system that you taught me as a preschooler. These gifts, for the projects, are from the “giving jar”.

I was humbled. I came just short of giving my son a lecture on the dangers of getting into debt, when he reminded me that I already spent years of instructing and guiding him. He’d learned his lessons from me. He remembered, and now he was applying them. It was time for me to trust his judgment.

I sometimes find it difficult to keep from giving my grown children “my two cents worth” of wisdom. It’s hard to turn that tendency off when they grow up and move out, but it’s a blessing when a parent sees that their lessons were well learned.