Emergency Room

Around 11:45p.m., my husband and I were awakened by the ring of the phone. A friend, and fellow church member, had just died of a massive heart attack. Twenty-five minutes later, we walked into the Emergency Room of the local hospital.

The room was packed with the members of about three families. The wife, of the deceased, had been sedated. Her blood pressure shot up to a dangerous point, and she was incoherent. As the family grieved for their dad, they were fearful that they could lose their mom, too.

We were there to provide any comfort or help that was needed, but things were frenetic with the doctors coming out to question the family about where they were to send the body and others coming to give updated reports on their mother.

In the midst of all of this, there was a sudden exodus from the room. People were running outside, questioning what was going on. A nurse came through the ER with a police officer. He ran out with his hand on his gun. There was a fight in the parking lot and one of the men was swinging a knife. Within moments, police were everywhere. A nurse came to inform us that if we were not family members of a patient, we should go home. They were about to put the ER on lock-down.

At that moment, it struck me that Emergency Rooms are places where emotions are likely to run high. People are often fearful, confused, and tired. This altercation seemed bazaar to us, but I wondered if it was really unusual for the hospital staff. It seemed that emergencies came in various forms around the ER.

The family we visited was grieving, but they felt no sense of emergency for their father. They knew that he’d had a close walk with the Lord, and he was experiencing pure joy at that point. Perhaps, the only true emergency is when one doesn’t make preparation for his final trip. When the moment of death comes, it is too late to decide. If the destination isn’t considered before that time, there are no options left, and that’s an emergency!

The Face of Confusion

TV Debut

I was excited when I received the call to be interviewed for the TV show, Nashville Alive. They wanted to talk about my new book, Everyday Experiences with God. When I arrived at the studio they asked, “Where’s your book? We want to show it on air.”

I replied, “I have one in the car. Do I have time to get it?” When they said, “Yes, but hurry”, I ran out of the building with one thing in mind. In my haste, I failed to see a step. I hurtled forward on the aggregate pavement. I tore my hose and ripped up the leather on my heels. Other than a few minor scrapes and bruises, I was fine, but rattled. I retrieved my book from the car and hobbled back into the studio just in time for taping. I wasn’t even allowed a moment to check my hair after the tousling.

I knew the questions that were supposed to come. I had jotted down some notes, so that I might glance down at them, if needed. However, the director instructed me to remove my glasses. The bright studio lights had transitioned them into sunglasses. They wanted to see my eyes. That would have been great, but with my addled state of mind, I was really counting on having those notes handy. Now, I wouldn’t be able to see them. Even worse, there was no time for them to give me any instructions. The director started counting down with his fingers, and pointed for us to begin.

And that was the start of my auspicious television debut! So, tune in to channel 44 tomorrow morning, December 28 at 8:30. Together, we will see just how “interesting” an interview can be.

What is Your Next Step Going to Be?

You probably don’t recall your very first step as a toddler, but I bet your parents do. They could probably retell the story in detail. They were excited. It was an accomplishment, a sign of healthy development. And, a first step implies that there will be more.

Since that time, you have experienced many firsts, haven’t you? Again, that suggests that there will be a second step, third, and on. Most can get excited over the beginning of a new idea or challenge. But, what was once new and exciting eventually becomes routine. Nobody claps when you walk across a room anymore. It’s old hat. So what? Everybody walks; that’s no great triumph.

But, there’s always a “next” step to be taken if you’re willing. As we mature, we sometimes become complacent. It’s often referred to as our “comfort zone”. Why look toward a next step when I’m doing so well at this level? Why stress myself when I’m not sure of success with the “next” step. What if I fall flat on my face? After years of experience, I know that even if I am successful, the cheering won’t last. That success will become the expected. What was once a challenge is now just routine. Yes, I hear that sigh. You understand all too well. So, what’s the point?

The next step! That is the point. Each step is a mark of healthy development. It is stimulating. It takes you closer to a new farther-reaching target. Will you be a little uncomfortable as you stretch yourself and grow? Yes! But those growing pains will lead to new heights you may not have imagined. And, eventually, it will lead to yet another comfort zone. But, don’t stay there too long. With too much ease comes atrophy. Get up, and take the next step. I’m clapping for you; can you hear it?

It's Christmas...So?

It’s a cold December morning. I awakened early. The house is quiet and beautiful, with the tree lit, before dawn’s light. No need for breakfast this morn. We enjoyed a festive holiday meal with a group of friends last night, and I am still feeling the results of indulgence.

The evening was a sensory explosion. It wasn’t just the tastes of Christmas. When walking into the home, we enjoyed the sight, sound, and warmth of a crackling fire after coming in from the cold. We were welcomed by hugs, from old friends and new. The aroma of hazelnut coffee was enticing. We ate at beautifully arrayed tables; the conversation ebbed and flowed. Memories and laughter were shared.

Before we gathered for that late dinner, we all attended Brentwood Baptist to enjoy their choir’s annual program. The stage was set beautifully for the holiday magic to come. A magnificent orchestra introduced the singers, accompanied them, and followed them out at the end. Varying genres of music were included but all with the same message. They converged to draw the listener in. Dancers added to the visual aesthetic, and combined, it honored the King.

Though we did not sit down and read the Bible, or talk about the birth of Jesus, we still celebrated it. A group of loving friends worshiped together. We shared fond remembrances across the table. Every physical sense was alert to this special time of year. It was a glorious evening!

Now I sit, in the pre-dawn hush. It, too, is a celebration of Christmas. It’s quiet, but I’m not alone. I’m not praising the King with others. I’m sharing memories with Him.

What's Your Favorite Color?

Blog Series: Memory – Color, Sensory Involvement

Do you have a child who is struggling in school? Perhaps you’re a teacher who is frustrated because your students don’t retain material as well as you would like. Maybe you’re tired of wasting time searching for things in your home. If any of these apply, read on!

·       Color is a memory stimulant. Teachers have color-coded things in their classrooms for years. Generally this was for organizational purposes, but by using different colors, our visual minds make an association that creates memory. Marketers talk a lot about branding ones business. One of the first things they use as a marketing tool is color. Think about a few businesses, what color do you associate with them?  Target? McDonald’s? Planet Fitness? These businesses want you to remember them, so color is important.

·       Sensory Involvement can make a huge difference in memory. We are told that scent is possibly the strongest sense we have in promoting memory. Every spring, when the lawn is first mowed, I have a quick jolt of childhood memories of playing outside with my brother. It’s the smell of new-mown grass that does it.

When studying WWII, one way I incorporated sound, taste and smell, was to construct a cardboard facsimile of an upright radio to resemble one from the 1940's. Behind this prop was a taped selection of radio shows of the time, including music, big news broadcasts of the time, comedy shows, soaps, etc. We sat around the "radio" enjoying popcorn while listening. They had a cultural experience from another age, and the memory was stimulated by multiple senses. Remember, one sense is good, but the more senses involved in a learning process, the better. Memory retention is the goal.

I challenge you to think about ways in which you can utilize color and/or sensory involvement to help you, your child, or an aging parent with some memory issue. These are simple to apply, and the rewards can be amazing.

The Giving Jar

Christmas was approaching, and I was busy in the kitchen when my son called asking about a gift idea for his dad. After I gave him a couple of suggestions, I said, “So, I assume you two are out shopping.” He had been married for just a few months, so this was to be their first Christmas together. He responded by saying, “No we’re actually delivering gifts.” I couldn’t imagine who he’d need to deliver to, so in curiosity, I asked for more information. He responded by telling me that they were down in Nashville’s projects taking gifts for the parents to be able to give their children. My daughter-in-law was a child advocate who worked in the area with some frequency. She was invested in these children.

I guess I couldn’t turn my Mom button off, so I proceeded with, “Honey, you are newly married, and I love your generous spirit, but you aren’t going to get yourself into credit card debt, are you?” With an exasperated sigh he replied, “No, Mom, remember the jars?” I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I said so. He said, “Remember when I was little and you gave me the four baby food jars? You were about to give me my first allowance, but the jars were to teach me how to use money. When I received my allowance each week, I was to put 10% in the tithing jar, 5% into a savings jar, and 5% into a giving jar, and the fourth jar held the remaining 80% for me to use however I chose. You said that the giving jar was to be used when I saw that someone had a need. That way I’d be ready and able to give. Though we don’t use actual jars, we still abide by the system that you taught me as a preschooler. These gifts, for the projects, are from the “giving jar”.

I was humbled. I came just short of giving my son a lecture on the dangers of getting into debt, when he reminded me that I already spent years of instructing and guiding him. He’d learned his lessons from me. He remembered, and now he was applying them. It was time for me to trust his judgment.

I sometimes find it difficult to keep from giving my grown children “my two cents worth” of wisdom. It’s hard to turn that tendency off when they grow up and move out, but it’s a blessing when a parent sees that their lessons were well learned.

What's Important?

Relevance may be the most important memory stimulator we have in terms of motivation. If we don’t view something as relevant, why should we even try to remember it? In school, some students may be so grade-driven that this is all of the motivation needed, but for most of us, there must be something more sustainable.

My son’s high school Geometry teacher understood the importance of relevance. His first assignment was aimed at helping students see the reason for learning the material, aside from the immediate grade. His students had two weeks to find ten professions that utilized geometry. They were to ask people if knowledge of geometry ever came in handy in their profession. I remember my son coming home, in total shock, from the orthodontist. Yes, this doctor utilized geometry when considering spacing for teeth. Who knew?

Math was not my son’s strong-suit, but I believe his success in geometry was due, in part, to the fact that he realized the relevance that this subject had for many professionals. Since he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, he understood that he might end up choosing something that used geometry. He wisely chose to memorize those theorems.

Another helpful way to insure memory is to write something down. It’s not particularly helpful to copy what someone else has written. The "memory chip” is activated when we take something that we’ve learned and write it down in our own words. Formulating our own thoughts, and attaching those to the instruction that we’ve had, creates meaning for us.

In my classroom, Friday’s were generally test days. I would always incorporate one discussion question. This was not an opportunity for them to regurgitate facts to me. It was a chance for them to take the material and create personal meaning from it. After studying about a country that was impoverished, I remember a student saying, "I never thought about my drinking water. Now, I can’t turn on the spigot without thanking God I don’t have to walk for miles in search of some that may or may not be fit for drinking.” Another said something like this: I have recited the pledge of allegiance to the flag every morning of my school experience and seldom considered what I was saying. Now, I realize it symbolizes freedom that much of the world has no understanding of. I’m grateful I was born an American.

In evaluating their tests, I noted the ones who presented the most personal meaning from the study were the same ones who could accurately share the facts. Why? The writing, with the meaning, imprinted a lasting memory.

Relevance and creating meaning are tied closely together. Writing down how material relates and what it means personally, will enhance memory. Nightly journaling is a good way to improve memory while leaving a written record of things in case you require a memory boost.

Hate Change?

Change

Nature is in transition. A couple of weeks ago it was summer-like. This week we saw frost for the first time. Each day we start and end with cold, but experience temps in the 60’s by mid-afternoon. This is frustrating when planning one’s wardrobe for the day, but it’s a good life reminder, omen, if you will.

Life is not intended to be static. Change is a sign of growth and health. As I look out my window, it appears that the natural world is dying before my eyes. The trees have lost their leaves. The grass is brittle and brown. The flowers have faded. The color is gone. God created this time of dormancy to allow the transition needed to bring life back in a fresh beautiful way in the spring. Yes, some of those things have died, but most are just going through a season of rest. Too, pruning has taken place in the neighborhood. This, too, is necessary for new growth.

So, why are we so fearful of change in our lives? As part of God’s creation, we too need change to grow and maintain health. Our culture is fluid, so to remain relevant, we too must alter our way of thinking and maneuvering in some uncharted waters of life. This is true for us personally, but it is also true for business and for our churches. We must remember, God said, in Eccl. 3:1, “To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under the heaven.” God  prepared us for the reality of change, and I think, by implication, the blessings and challenges that come with each. So, why does it seem that churches struggle with this Biblical concept more than the world does? Perhaps, it is because we search for something that is stable in life. Christ is secure. He is stable, but that does not mean that the church will be or should be static. We must relate to an ever-changing world. Jesus met the needs of the people of His day. He calls us to do the same. While relying on the God who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, we still must communicate Him to each new generation with their particular needs and world view. Thereby, we must be willing to set aside our preferences in order to accommodate changing methodologies for a changing world.

Am I required to like change? No, but I must realize that I found Christ in a church that was willing to adjust for my generation’s altered view. As one who is now a mature believer, I am willing to adapt to a new way of doing things in order to reach a young generation needing salvation as much as I did.

When I look in the mirror each morning only to observe a new wrinkle around the eyes or a little less firmness in the jaw, I mourn the face that looked back at me 20 years ago. It’s a fleeting thought, however, because I remember God’s words, and I am heartened by the realization that it’s a new season in life. There’s new purpose. As in nature, the changes I see may signal a resting period or a life soon to end. However, that too will just be a change. Ecclesiastes 3 goes on to say, “A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.” I will eventually die to the earth only to experience a new season that I will welcome in every way, because I will be in the presence of my Savior.

In the meantime, I look out my window and see the fading beauty that was autumn, but I am cheered by the knowledge that new life, fresh beauty will blossom from this necessary transition, this new season of life.

It's All about Power!

Faith is a funny thing when you think about it. We ask God for it, but we often ask, at the same time, to SEE what’s ahead for us. Heb. 1 says that “Faith is the substance of things NOT SEEN”, yet we want “faith” while seeing. Perhaps we misunderstand the power behind the NOT SEEING. When I can see what’s ahead I have a certain amount of power to deal with it on my own. That leaves God out of the picture. If I can control the situation, faith is not required, and God is unlikely to get the Glory. If I do not have to sometimes grapple in the dark and depend on God for my next step, why even talk about faith? It is apparently not a part of my experience. Just saying the word is meaningless unless I take the step in the dark.

When my son was small, we lost electrical power one night. My preschooler was afraid, so I picked him up and carried him. I could maneuver through our home without the benefit of electricity. When I held him, all fear was gone. He still couldn’t see, but he trusted me to take care of him. As he grew in his trust, he lost his fear of the literal and figurative dark. I think this is the picture that God wants us to grasp. God created the world in which we live. He is perfectly able to find his way through it no matter what obstacles deter us. When everything seems out of control and I don’t know where to turn and I cannot see my way through, God is ready to pick me up and carry me safely to the other side of my problem. Because I have seen him do this for me in the past, I have learned to trust him to bring me into the light. You see, I don’t need to “see”. God sees far more than I ever could. I just have to trust. Faith is believing God to carry us out of the darkness and into His glorious light.

What Do You Look Like?

How are you identified?

My sister's family was in town. We went to an arts and crafts fair in a trendy section of downtown  Nashville, The Gulch. While there, we met a caricaturist in the Google Fiber booth. He drew our picture. We were amazed at his talent and quickness.

Aside from the artist's giftedness, I was interested in each family member's response. We shared our opinions as to whom the artist captured best. I thought he discovered the essence of my brother-in-law, Jim. My sister, Lori, said, "Oh no, Wanda, his picture of you was the most true-to-life." As we compared our thoughts, I noticed that none of us saw ourselves the way the artist or our family did.

Then the question struck me, do I see myself as my Creator does? I concluded the answer is a resounding, No! I doubt that I see anyone else as the Father does. It's probably not reasonable to think that I can ever truly see through the eyes of Jesus. But, perhaps that needs to be my prayer. Scripture says that God wants to perfect me...and you. Maybe that process begins by seeing the world more clearly through the eyes of a loving forgiving Savior.

Watch Where You're Going

Blog: Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

I was a typical teenager. I couldn’t wait to turn sixteen and get my driver’s license. But somebody had to teach me how to drive. My father had no patience. I dreaded the thought of getting behind the wheel with him in tow. My mother was a nervous driver, and she was scared to teach me how to drive. Fortunately, my sweet patient Uncle Jimmy offered to teach me.

In our small town, there was an old two-lane bridge that had no shoulder at all. From almost anywhere else in town, this bridge had to be crossed to get to and from our house. I remember the first time I had to drive across that bridge. About half way across, I saw a semi coming toward me. I didn’t see how there was space for us to pass one another without colliding. It seemed huge, and we weren’t in a small vehicle either. I was driving my uncle’s brand new 1968 Cadillac. In ’68, most cars were about the size of a boat.

As the truck came near, I considered my choices. Would it be better to die from a head-on collision with a truck or to drown in the car after going head-long over the bridge into the river below? Then I heard my uncle’s gentle voice, “Keep your eyes on the road ahead. Where you look is where you will go.” I hadn’t realized it, but I was veering towards the truck. In my fear, I was watching it instead of the road. Per instruction, I looked ahead, and the car righted itself. We easily passed each other without incident.

My uncle did not intend to state a spiritual truth, but that’s exactly what he did. The apostle Peter, was able to walk on the water as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. When he looked down toward the roiling sea, he began to sink. My uncle was so right. We will go where our eyes take us, so we need to keep them focused on the Lord, or we may sink into dangerous waters or run head on into a powerful semi.

Intentional Kindness

 

After church, one morning, I went to retrieve four-year-old Jonathan from his class. His teacher asked to speak with me for a moment. I wondered if Jonathan had done something wrong. My mind momentarily went into defense mode, but I patiently waited to see what she had to say. She took me by surprise when her eyes began to tear up. She said that they had a new child visit class that day. He was blind. She said the other children stared at first; then, they went about their play, ignoring him. He couldn’t participate in the same way they did. Jonathan was the one exception. She said he asked the boy if he would like to build something with him. When the child said yes, Jonathan guided him to the blocks. They sat down and played and laughed.  When the visiting family came to pick up their son, they were thrilled that he had found a new friend.

The teacher praised my husband and me for teaching Jonathan to be sensitive to the needs of others, especially those who were “different”. My mother’s pride welled up within me for a few minutes, but then I realized that we weren’t responsible. God had placed a tender spot, within him, that naturally reached out to those in need.

I like to think that I am kind to all people. But, I was compelled to question myself that day. Did I intentionally look for opportunities to engage those who might feel excluded from social interactions, or did I allow perceived differences to keep them at a distance? Jesus didn’t just give the shunned lepers a kind word; He embraced them. In his own way, little Jonathan did the same thing with a blind child. If a four-year-old instinctively responds with intentional kindness, why don’t I?

A Stone Fox and a King

Memory Series – Emotions & Stories

A friend of mine was concerned when her son went to high school. He had a learning disability, and his grades were less than stellar. She was afraid high school would be destructive to his sense of self-worth.

One of his first writing assignments in Language Arts was something like this: What is your favorite book? Expound on this; describe your personal experience with the piece of literature. My friend asked her son what he had written about. His favorite book was Stone Fox, a novel that his teacher had read to his 4^th grade class. She was surprised he remembered it. He recalled that at the end, when a dog died, the entire class was in tears, including the teacher. When she closed the book the room was totally silent for a moment. The class shared an experience that was relatable to all of them. There were no snickers about tears, because they were one in that emotional moment. The young man made an excellent grade, and his mom stopped worrying so much. She told me about this, because I was his 4^th grade teacher. She wanted me to know I made a lasting impression on her son by introducing this book to him.

Think about the books you’ve read and the movies you’ve seen. What are your  favorites? Chances are, they were ones in which you laughed out loud or you shed tears. I laughed with abandon when I first saw Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire, and I couldn’t stop the tears when I read Corrie ten Boom’s The Hiding Place. Storytelling often goes hand in hand with an emotional component. It is one of the greatest tools we have to stimulate memory.

When teaching the history of early Germanic tribes, I would talk about Charlamagne, King of the Franks. I told my students of my German heritage and explained that my maiden name was Franks. I told them that a missed question on most tests would only count four or five points against them. However, I personally thought odds were that I was probably of royal heritage. I was a Franks from Germany, so my guess was  Charlamagne was my Great, Great, Great, however many Greats, Grandfather. Though I could accept most errors on a test, I would consider it to be a personal affront to my family if they failed to remember dear Great Grandpa was King of the Franks.

Ten or twelve years after I left that school and moved to another state, I returned to the area for a wedding. At the reception, I heard the loud voice of a young woman proclaim, “Charlamagne, King of the Franks”! Sure enough, it was a former student.

Yes, this was a silly story. It’s unlikely I would have any relation to this royal family. I said it, because I was looking for the information to stick, and it served its purpose.

When moved to laughter or tears, or even better, both, we will likely remember the experience for years to come. Some African tribes have passed down their history through tribal griots, storytellers. This oral history has sufficed for centuries, because the gifted storyteller has woven history into a relatable, emotional tale that each parent is inspired to tell their children.

Stories, with emotions, are powerful in their ability to instill long-term memory. When working with children or the aging, tell stories. Laugh and cry together. Create a shared moment that you will both love to remember.
                                                     
                                                    

Patsy Cline is Dead?

When our granddaughter was four or five-years-old, she would listen to music as she drifted off to sleep. Some of her favorites were Disney classics,

Taylor Swift, Elvis Presley, and Patsy Cline. For a young child, she had eclectic musical tastes. She would go around the house each day, singing songs from these CDs, trying to mimic the actual performers.

When the Patsy Cline story was presented by an acting troupe at the historic Ryman Auditorium, our daughter-in-law took little Eva to see it. They were both enjoying it until the radio announcer announced Patsy’s plane had gone down. Eva, looking around tearfully said, “What’s wrong with these people? Patsy’s plane has gone down and everyone’s sitting here as if nothing has happened.”

Her mother realized then that Eva was unaware the singer had been dead for many years. She whispered to her daughter, “Honey, Patsy Cline died in this plane crash decades ago.”

Eva screamed, “Patsy Cline is dead? It can’t be. I listened to her singing last night.”

Her mom explained how taped music worked. She then followed up by saying, “It’s just like Elvis. You listen to him, and he’s been dead a long time.”

Eva wailed, “Elvis is dead, too?”

Communication requires both a speaker and a listener, but it’s important to note that the listener is processing the speaker’s information based on her own knowledge and experience. If the listener’s background does not allow her to process the data on an equal footing with the speaker, the connection is broken. Confusion reigns when we tell without asking questions to insure understanding.

The next time you think you are getting through to someone, be careful. Remember, she may not know, "Patsy Cline is dead". 

When You Can no Longer See the Path

Hiking one of the trails, in the Natchez Trace State Park, can be challenging. It’s not that the trails are too long or too steep. The problem is that you can easily lose the path. Natchez Trace has been almost swallowed up by Kudzu. Kudzu is a vine that was brought to TN, from Japan, with the idea that it could help prevent erosion. Its root system was too shallow to accomplish the intended goal. Kudzu proved to be a real problem for the state. It grows about 12”/day. It will grow up a tree and totally cover a forest quickly. When hiking, one has to be careful not to get one’s feet caught in the vines. Because of its invasive growth, the vines can cover trails more quickly than the park service can clear them.

On a recent visit, my husband and I were going for a short hike, just about a mile, through the forest. We came upon several spots in which we could no longer see the path. Blue paint, on tree trunks, is used to provide markers for hikers. Unfortunately, the kudzu climbs the trees, quickly covering up the markers. When we could no longer see the path, my husband reached up to pull down vines from trees, searching for blue paint. I stopped, not wanting to get caught in vines, until he figured out the way we should go. He found the way without too much trouble, but he had gotten ahead of me. I could no longer see him, but he called my name and I followed the sound of his voice. It presented a spiritual metaphor in my mind.

What do you do when you can no longer see the path you thought your life was taking? You had plans, but obstacles have gotten in the way. You thought you had your life mapped out; the way was clear in your mind. Then, the path became obstructed. It was no longer visible. Where do you go next? You can’t see the next marker.

“Faith is the substance of things not seen, the evidence of things hoped for” (Hebrews 11:1). When you can’t see the step in front of you, do you throw up your hands and give up? Do you turn around, and go back to the familiar? If you can see the path clearly, faith is not required. If faith is not required, that suggests that you’re not going to achieve anything except that which you can control. Do you really want such limitations on your life? Do you want to be fearful of taking a step forward, because you don’t know where it will lead? If so, you won’t achieve anything with eternal value. Do you expect to experience God’s blessings for work that you do under your own power?

What do you want your legacy to be? Your children are likely to follow your model for living. Do you want them to see how far they can travel a path of their own making, or do you want them to step out in faith, listening for God’s call? If you are a believer, I imagine you want them to follow Him even when they can’t see where He’s taking them. So, what are you doing now, to prepare them to listen for the voice of God?

Enough?

Blog:  When is Enough, Enough?

Our master bathroom was undergoing renovation. While dealing with the demo mess, my husband and I were relegated to the guest bathroom. As I was getting ready to go out one morning, I became frustrated. Jack and I were vying for room around the one available sink. In my angst, I said, “How did anyone ever get ready before dual sink bathrooms?” It just took a moment before we both started to laugh. We had just returned from visiting our son’s family in Eastern Europe. They live in a country that is identified as a functional third world nation. Our son, and his wife, have four young children. His family, of six, is grateful for running water and electricity, because much of the country is not blessed with these simple amenities. A dual sink? Such a luxury is beyond the imagination of much of the world.

I must confess; I am spoiled! I don’t even know how to distinguish between the things that I truly need and those I just want. I feel entitled to many things that the world, beyond our borders, doesn’t even realize exist. We live in a home of about 2200 square feet. In our area, this is considered small. As we visited our son, he said, “Mom, you and dad don’t need that big house. You could easily live in 600 square feet.” I managed to pick my jaw up, off the floor, before he saw it, or at least I think I did. I don’t know if there are any apartments that small in our area, much less a house. The truth is, I don’t want to find out. I got claustrophobic just imagining it. 

My son’s family is blessed with an understanding of what is enough. His wife prepares dinner for the family each night and includes guests, three or four nights a week. She puts forth a generous delicious spread. It is all prepared in a kitchen that is about 5’ x 6’. She has a small refrigerator and very little cabinet space. The counter space is almost non-existent, and the sink doesn’t drain without a plunger to move it along. To add to that, the children want to help cook, and she encourages it. The kitchen is just a microcosm of the differences in their home and lives. The family does not feel deprived, and they live with a sense of contentment. They understand the meaning of enough.

As a mom, I am proud. My son is now teaching me. I may not be ready to sell out and move into a 600 square foot home yet, but he has prompted thought. I am reevaluating my definition of “enough”. And, maybe, that is enough for now.

Incoming!

A beautiful wedding does not just appear out of thin air. It is a well-orchestrated event that is often considered long before the bride has even met her intended. Each detail is thought to be important. The bride has only one chance to make it perfect, and that is her goal, perfection!

Everyone anticipates the beauty of a wedding, but an overflow of mixed emotions may also be expected. It is a day of both laughter and tears. Some of the tears are a direct result of the unrealistic expectations that come with the planning of this day. Of course, with more details involved, there are more elements with the potential to go awry.

My husband, Jack, performed a wedding in which the bridal couple were to light a unity candle. This is a common tradition in many weddings. There is typically a candelabra with three candles. One represents the groom’s family, one represents the bride’s. The candle, in the middle, remains unlit until the couple comes to light it together. Each one takes the candle, representing their family. At the same time, they bring their candles to meet at the center one, which they light together, representing the unity of their families.

This is a meaningful moment in the ceremony, and the couple wanted everything to be perfect. They chose to use dripless candles, providing a sleeve around them, to avoid getting burned by candle wax. When the moment came they each started to retrieve their candle. The groom, inadvertently, pushed down on his. When he did, the spring mechanism was activated. It shot the candle sleeve through the congregation like an attacking missile. I half expected to hear someone yell out, “Incoming!” There was an immediate intake of breath followed by laughter. The sacred moment was ruined, but it insured that this wedding would be memorable for all who attended.

We might do well to remember, there is no perfection this side of heaven. And, often, we find greater joy in the flaws that show up as uninvited guests to a wedding.

Mathematically Calculate the Attention Span of your Student

Memory Series: Creating Interest/Attention Span/Layering on a Big Idea

1.    Creating Interest

2.    Calculating Attention Span

3.    Layering on a Big Idea

·       Create interest! If a learner is not motivated in the first few minutes, very little is likely to be accomplished. Timing is vital!  Think of a hook to draw the learner in. You want to create a level of curiosity. For example, if studying the Second World War, the day you initiate the unit, students might enter the room to the sounds of the McGuire Sisters or the instrumental renderings of Benny Goodman. By doing this, students are immediately curious and a mood has been set for the era that they are about to study.

·       Be aware of the attention span of your student. This formula should give a foundation for judging it. Attention span can be determined by age + 2, or functional age + 2. This maxes out at approximately age 18. Therefore, no one can be expected to listen with complete focus for more than 20 minutes. After the learner’s attention span has been reached, a brief mental or physical break can make a huge difference in terms of bringing the student back to the topic. Staying with the WWII study, after 18 minutes of lecture with a class of high school juniors, you might allow students to get in groups to read a newspaper report or a personal letter or diary entry from someone from that period. You might have pre-determined questions for each group to discuss after reading the short piece. The subject hasn’t changed, but students have moved (increasing necessary oxygen to the brain, thus greater focus), and through their discussions they now have some ownership in their learning. Once again, you are increasing the chances of long-term memory.

·       Layering on a Big Idea, that really captures the hearts and minds of learners, accelerates already good learning. For example, if a class is already interested in learning about World War II (Big Idea), then a historical novel set in that era will only add to the overall interest.

Remember, if one’s attention is lost, then memory is not really the object, because the student is not yet engaged.

Seeking God

Seeking You

It’s Sunday. After writing this, I will prepare to go to church. We have a fellowship of believers that I love. We have music to lift the spirit and preaching that is solidly consistent with the Word. I have no complaints. However, God, you call me to serve outside those walls.

In the past, I thought I knew what you expected of me based on the gifts that you endowed me with. But, now I question things looking through older, more experienced lens. I am now a senior adult. I am in a new season of life. I have less energy, and I feel somewhat lost in this constantly changing culture. I don’t know if I have a viable role. Have I any relevancy? My son says that I am naïve, and I don’t deny that. The harshness, often cruelty, which is now reported on the daily news, is more than my mind, my heart, can comprehend. How can I make a difference in a society that no longer resonates with me?

But, I have You. You see; You comprehend; You created me for relationship and service. Therefore, I am relevant. You continue to keep me here. You continue to give me opportunities. You have purpose for me; I must find it. I cannot find it alone. You show me, and I will try to follow. You will not call me to anything that You have not equipped me, resourced me, to do.

So, it’s time to go to church. Help me to worship You in truth. Help me see a little more, to understand a bit more clearly. Give me inspiration, give me hope, give me direction, give me passion, give me impetus. Give me direction and opportunity to do Your perfect will right where You want me to serve. Help me to paint a clear picture of You for others to see and worship.

It all goes back to You. It all goes toward You. This is why I will now get ready for church, to join with other believers, seeking You.

The Groom...Down for the Count

I suppose that whenever we try to bring great dignity to an occasion, we unintentionally invite a certain amount of turmoil into the scenario. Our lives are normally rather relaxed, so a particularly formal situation brings a certain amount of stress and unease. We begin to consider all of the possible things that we might do to ruin the event, and set our minds up to do that which we least desire.

Perhaps that is what happened at this wedding. The groom was particularly nervous. He was not accustomed to formal settings, and the whole event had unnerved him. He had accepted all of the plans in an effort to please his bride, but he was uneasy as he stepped into the church.

The wedding was carefully planned, and everything was beautiful. There were two elaborate candelabras set on either side of the bride and groom as they stood before the pastor to take their vows. As the minister asked the groom if he would take this woman as his wife, the groom, instead of answering, fainted. As he went down, he hit one of the candelabras and it was going down, too. The pastor had to make a quick decision, catch the groom or the candles? The groom hit the floor with a thud, but the church was saved from fire.

1940's wedding photo

After a few minutes of recovery, the groom returned to his spot by his bride. They made their vows, and they were married.

The moral to this story? When taking a step outside your comfort zone, just realize that it’s just a moment before you’ll once again be at ease OR maybe, just make sure there are no potential fire hazards around you when you go down for the count.

Weddings: What's Really Important?

As a minister’s wife, I have attended more than my share of weddings, and I’ve been privy to much of the behind-the-scenes drama. My husband, Jack, in an attempt to ease the nervous couple, would say, “Something is bound to go wrong; it always does. Most of the time no one sees it but the two of you and me. But the truth is, if I say, ‘Will you?’ and you say ‘I will’ and I say, ‘You are’. Then as long as the marriage license is signed, everything else is superfluous. You’re married.” Though that is true, we have witnessed some interesting situations.

One couple had planned a beautiful wedding. There were nine bridesmaids and nine groomsmen. Flowers and candles were everywhere. The dresses, of the attendants and the bride, were the most beautiful I’d ever seen. The brass quintet completed the fairy-tale scene. The hundreds, in attendance,
were in awe. It was a spectacle to take your breath away.

The bride spent untold hours planning it all, and she wanted to make it last, so she included everything that she had ever seen in any wedding she’d attended. She had read brides’ magazines looking for touching elements that would make the occasion memorable. But, in the end, she didn’t need any outside source to provide that.

The attendants were lined up with a groomsman standing behind each bridesmaid. As one of the songs was sung, by a talented vocalist, one of the bridesmaids collapsed in a dead faint. Thankfully, the groomsman behind her caught her before she hit the floor and carried her from the room. There was an audible gasp from the guests. Someone left the room to attend to her so the groomsman could rejoin the wedding. The ceremony continued, but after another couple of minutes, another bridesmaid passed out. She, too, was removed from the sanctuary. People were looking at one another, with little smiles, this time. The song was now over. The bridal couple knelt, on a bench, and Jack began to lead the congregation in a prayer for the couple. As heads were bowed, a big thump was heard from the front of the church. People raised their heads in time to see a third attendant carried from the room. At this point, everyone broke out in laughter, including the bride and groom. The minister tried to resume the prayer, but snickers could be heard throughout the room.

When the bride and groom were presented to the congregation, before walking down the aisle to exit the church, everyone laughed and cheered. Jack was right. Something had certainly gone wrong, but he did say, “Will you?” They did each say, “I will”. The license was signed, and they were married. The rest was just fodder, for stories, to share for years to come.

Learning for "Real"

Memory Series: Make it Personal/Authenticity

For years I taught History of the Eastern Hemisphere to sixth grade students. Part of the curriculum was the study of World War II. My students were always interested. Most of them had mental connections through older family members, movies they had seen, and some with books they had read. The more connections the brain makes, with a topic, the greater the retention. So, this was a study that had an advantage from the outset. The motivation and interest were already present.  I utilized many brain-based strategies to reinforce this, so by the end of the unit, students had a good overall view of the era. Towards the end of the study, I invited a special guest to speak to my classes.

Ms. May was a holocaust survivor. She was a German, of Jewish faith, whose family had escaped to Holland when things became dangerous. Her family thought they were moving to a safe haven. Of course, this was an illusion. Ms. May’s family was eventually taken to a German prison camp. Most of her family were killed. For a brief time, Ms. May and Anne Frank were imprisoned together. Since my students had read Anne Frank’s diary, here was another connection. Because Ms. May experienced this when she wasn’t much older than my students, they could imagine being there themselves. When she spoke, a pin could have been heard dropping. We all listened with bated breath. It was always a day of shared tears, because we could feel Ms. May’s heartache.

Before Ms. May came, my students had already learned more about the war than was expected for their grade level. Most of them were prepared to do well on the unit test. They had already been exposed to learning that would almost certainly insure long-term memory. So, why did I invite this Ms. May ? She could provide authenticity and make it personal. She provided something I couldn’t, because she lived it. There was power in her story.

Whenever possible, authenticity should be introduced into lessons. Our experience with Ms. May is not one that can be duplicated in most school situations, so we must search for other ways to create a personal understanding. Because of reading The Diary of Anne Frank, my students already had some sense of authenticity. Biographies and autobiographies are a good way to bring realism into the classroom. Visits to museums, introducing relics, old news accounts, or photos are also means that can be utilized in a study. Sometimes, older family members can share memories of days gone by to help students strengthen their understanding of another time. This provides a personal understanding and develop a bond of respect.

There are many advantages to injecting personal authentic stories into the teaching/learning process.

• It makes the required material real for the student, providing relevance.
• It creates empathy.
• The emotions that are evoked, from it, are memory stimulators.
• Stories are a major way to insure retention.

Whether you are a classroom teacher or a home school mom, you want the best for your students. You want a meaningful learning experience that will impact their lives. You want long-term memory. Make it real. Make it personal. I predict that you will both benefit from the experience.

An Experiment in Memory

Memory Series: Making Connections

Let’s do an experiment together. On a piece paper, jot down everything that comes to mind when you think of “Hannibal”. After that is completed, write down everything that comes to mind with the word “dog”. I’m guessing that you have a much longer list with “dog”. Why? Because, your brain has probably made more connections, through the years, with dogs than with Hannibal. The more connections that our brain can make with a subject, the greater the memory retention.

Creating connections is the major reason for chunking material. In teaching the history of almost any part of the world, I would introduce the unit dressed in a costume that reflected that part of the world. This peaked their interest. Yes, I would give my class the basis of material covered in the text. But, I would also provide relics (if possible), or photos from the area. I would often chunk on a historical novel to give them more insight. When available, I would show videos or movies that would chunk on more. I would create questions for discussion groups to consider the information, separating fact from fiction if novels and movies were part of the experience. Music, art, games/recreation, and even fashion were incorporated when relevant. Students were given writing opportunities, sometimes prose and sometimes poetry to express impressions that they had of the study. By chunking on material and engaging students in the history, literature, music and the arts, long-term memory was created.

Multiple brain connections, created through chunking material, create a greater depth of understanding and interest. Interest, relevance, VAK (visual, auditory, and kinestic) opportunities, color, and authenticity are all memory kickers that are utilized in such a study. A student will obviously not retain every detail of information, but the overall study with experiences, will last.

What is "Meaning"-ful to you? Help your Child find Meaning in Learning.

Memory Series, Sense & Meaning and Making Connections

 

We were studying Native Americans, of the 19th century, in my fifth grade Social Studies class. When my students first entered the room, I did a mini-review of what they'd been assigned to read. I asked, "Who can tell me one way that buffalo were used by the tribes of the plains?" Hands went up all around the room. I called on one student after another to list one use. After I thought that all of the purposes had been covered, I noticed Tonya waving her hand wildly. I sometimes lived to regret calling on Tonya. One never knew what to expect when she spoke. She was a sweet child, but her thinking was often skewed, and the children sometimes made fun of her responses. So, I told Tonya that all of the reasons had been given, and we needed to continue with the lesson. She said, "But, Mrs. Carver, there's another use that wasn't in our reading". With apprehension, I asked her what it was. She said, "Wings"! For a moment, I was too stunned to respond. Evidently, the students were, too. They all just stared at her for a moment, then the laughter couldn't be held any longer. I shushed the class. Then I said, "Tonya, buffalo don't have wings." She said, "Yes, they do. I eat them all of the time. Have you never had buffalo wings, Mrs. Carver?" She asked it as if she felt sorry for me. I assured her that I had enjoyed them occasionally, but I explained that they were from chickens. She had a hard time accepting that. It didn't make sense to her until I explained that "buffalo wings" got started in Buffalo, New York.

Tonya had created meaning, in her own mind, that allowed her to remember. Unfortunately, Tonya's assumption was erroneous, so she needed someone to make sure that her information was realistic and made sense. Sometimes, we think a student understands, but if we do not allow her to express what she thinks, we will never know. This means that discussion and writing opportunities are invaluable for learning how a student is processing the data that she takes in. Modern culture can sometimes confuse a child and help is required to establish sense and meaning.

Making connections is another way to assure greater retention. Each time we learn something new we strengthen part of the brain, making it easier to use again. But, information, in isolation, seldom sticks in our memories. This is one reason for cross-curriculum instruction. If a student studies history, without seeing connections with anything else, he will inadvertently push the "delete" button of his brain. However, if he reads a historical novel, set in the same time period, the connection is increased. If he is shown similarities between what was happening in a particular era with some things in this week's news, he establishes yet another connection. In science class the student learns about an invention from the same time period. Then, if he goes to music and art classes and experiences some of the creative achievements of the era, he now has a strong basis for long-term memory retention.

Creating sense and meaning and making connections are techniques that will increase understanding, create greater interest, and enhance long-term memory.

Improve your Child's Long-Term Memory

If your own child, or student, does not seem to perform as well in the classroom as you think he/she should, this may be the blog for you.

Memory Series: AVK (Audio, Visual, Kinesthetic)

Research shows that the majority of people are, at least partly, visual learners. Only about 1% learn best through only hearing, and even fewer are totally kinesthetic (movement). The best learning actually takes place when all of these are incorporated into a teaching/learning process. By adulthood, most people are a balanced blend of all three.

Brain studies have shown that learning styles differentiate by gender and even ethnicity. We don’t know why this is true, but studies of the brain, as well as, personal observation seem to back this up. For example, males tend to be more kinesthetic than females. Also, it is rare to find a girl who is predominantly hearing oriented. In fact, in 16 years of teaching, I have never had a female student who was predominantly an audio learner. With anywhere from 100-150 students per year, I generally had one boy who was. If required to take notes, these students would actually lose focus. As a result they didn’t remember what the lesson had been even 24 hours later. African American students are more kinesthetically oriented than Caucasians, even the girls but to a lesser degree. As a result, black boys learn best when allowed to move in the process. Both music and sports are naturally movement oriented, but there is no reason to limit movement to the arts and athletics.

With these things in mind, the average American classroom needs some adjustment. Most elementary schools are full of white female teachers. Since most of them learned visually, that is also how they tend to teach. Therefore, the students at the top of the elementary classes are often white girls. Boys often improve in secondary school where more male teachers can be found. After engaging in some brain studies, I altered my teaching style to accommodate some of these differences. For years I had always allowed audio learners to just listen, without taking notes, once I identified them. However, movement in the classroom was something that I’d try to keep to a minimum, because I thought it was a distraction. I finally came up with ways to incorporate movement in fun productive ways. Once I did that, test scores began to soar. One African-American boy who had never passed an end-of-year test, not only passed, but he had a strong average grade. He and his mother both cried on the day the scores were revealed. In fact, though I was in one of the lowest socio-economic schools in the system, every one of my students passed the test! By understanding the differences in learning, and adapting my classroom to meet those needs, all of my students benefited.

So, for long-term memory, incorporation of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic learning can make a difference. Though it is true that we all learn best from one of these, the balance allows for greater retention for all. Memory is increased!